I know creative abundance is available to me in this moment…

This is how we began Tea + Purpose, a new monthly tea meetup that connects over a topic area allowing more women to create awareness and action in their lives, all created by my dear friend Carla Blumenthal. For this meetup, Sarah Kathleen Peck, writer of the blog “It Starts With“, joined and guided us to develop our own life philosophy framework.

We started the meetup with tea and scones at Press Tea, one of my favorite tea shops in the city. As more and more women trickled in we gathered around and got started with introductions. We began with answering this question – What have you been proud of so far this year? This question really opened people up a little bit more,  in addition to signing this realness contract, promising to bring our real selves to the tea table.

Following intros, Sarah dove right into asking the group this question, when was the last time you felt an adrenaline rush? A lot of folks including myself mixed this feeling up with the feeling of anxiety. With all these fears, moments of anxiety, adrenaline, and vulnerability stemmed raw emotion and positivity. Here’s some of the comments I scribbled from this round of discussion:

• It doesn’t always get easier the more you get into something and put it on the line. It’s a leap of faith and only gets more risky.
• It’s hard to go into the unknown and know it’s going to be okay.
• You have permission to screw up and change your mind.
• We’re all humans having an experience.
• Showing up everyday counts for something.

We were next asked to talk about happiness. What’s the definition of happiness and is it even the goal? Takeaways from this included:

• Happiness is a feeling of inner peace and reflection.
• Be in the present. It isn’t about if I get this job then I’ll be happy. Once you get to that goal or thing you’ll always be looking for the next thing. This turns into a vicious cycle, wondering if you’ll ever find peace and happiness.
• Take away the “SHOULDS”. I should be like this. I should be doing that. Take it away. You don’t need to feel guilty about anything, just be yourself.
• Set time aside to think and reflect. Schedule unplanned time.
• When someone is being negative it means they need love or a boundary.
• What you give attention to grows. If someone says something negative or you believe something negative it grows. If you don’t accept these things, it can’t grow… This has been the biggest eye opener for me because for the longest time I’ve said and thought about my job search in this way. I blame the economy, the competition here, thinking I’ll never get something. If I keep thinking that I won’t find anything, then I really won’t. Acknowledge. Don’t think about the negative. Don’t engage. Then the other person/thing is left with it.

Next came loneliness. What is it and why do we experience it?

This was also another awakening. When I feel lonely, it’s particular when I work from home. I’ve always wondered why I feel this way. Sarah shed some light on this for me by sharing some of her tools on how to improve this feeling of loneliness.

• Use your voice. Ask yourself how much did you talk today, sing, anything? I should also note that this is why Sarah opened up this discussion, so that everyone could talk instead of her doing all the talking.
• Language – Write and reflect.
• Touch – Maybe we’re feeling lonely because we haven’t been touched all day like a hug or a handshake.
• Eyes closed – Not sleeping but understanding and being aware of the moments and your surroundings. Meditation. Focus on your breathing.
• Connect outward – Giving a warm real hug. Sharing with others.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing more revelations from friends (and in this case strangers) about who I am as a person. I’ve realized I can do a much better job at speaking up and showing who I truly am as a person. I’ve learned that I’m not the only person that has these fears or feelings and have come to peace with feeling vulnerable, it just means you’re being real.