Tea + Purpose Recap – Developing Your Life Philosophy

March 11, 2014 ~ Nicole Monahan ~ Leave a comment

I know creative abundance is available to me in this moment…

This is how we began Tea + Purpose, a new monthly tea meetup that connects over a topic area allowing more women to create awareness and action in their lives, all created by my dear friend Carla Blumenthal. For this meetup, Sarah Kathleen Peck, writer of the blog “It Starts With“, joined and guided us to develop our own life philosophy framework.

We started the meetup with tea and scones at Press Tea, one of my favorite tea shops in the city. As more and more women trickled in we gathered around and got started with introductions. We began with answering this question – What have you been proud of so far this year? This question really opened people up a little bit more, in addition to signing this realness contract, promising to bring our real selves to the tea table.

Following intros, Sarah dove right into asking the group this question, when was the last time you felt an adrenaline rush? A lot of folks including myself mixed this feeling up with the feeling of anxiety. With all these fears, moments of anxiety, adrenaline, and vulnerability stemmed raw emotion and positivity. Here’s some of the comments I scribbled from this round of discussion:

It doesn’t always get easier the more you get into something and put it on the line. It’s a leap of faith and only gets more risky.
It’s hard to go into the unknown and know it’s going to be okay.
You have permission to screw up and change your mind.
We’re all humans having an experience.
Showing up everyday counts for something.

We were next asked to talk about happiness. What’s the definition of happiness and is it even the goal? Takeaways from this included:

Happiness is a feeling of inner peace and reflection.
Be in the present. It isn’t about if I get this job then I’ll be happy. Once you get to that goal or thing you’ll always be looking for the next thing. This turns into a vicious cycle, wondering if you’ll ever find peace and happiness.
Take away the “SHOULDS”. I should be like this. I should be doing that. Take it away. You don’t need to feel guilty about anything, just be yourself.
Set time aside to think and reflect. Schedule unplanned time.
When someone is being negative it means they need love or a boundary.
What you give attention to grows. If someone says something negative or you believe something negative it grows. If you don’t accept these things, it can’t grow… This has been the biggest eye opener for me because for the longest time I’ve said and thought about my job search in this way. I blame the economy, the competition here, thinking I’ll never get something. If I keep thinking that I won’t find anything, then I really won’t. Acknowledge. Don’t think about the negative. Don’t engage. Then the other person/thing is left with it.

Next came loneliness. What is it and why do we experience it?

This was also another awakening. When I feel lonely, it’s particular when I work from home. I’ve always wondered why I feel this way. Sarah shed some light on this for me by sharing some of her tools on how to improve this feeling of loneliness.

Use your voice. Ask yourself how much did you talk today, sing, anything? I should also note that this is why Sarah opened up this discussion, so that everyone could talk instead of her doing all the talking.
Language – Write and reflect.
Touch – Maybe we’re feeling lonely because we haven’t been touched all day like a hug or a handshake.
Eyes closed – Not sleeping but understanding and being aware of the moments and your surroundings. Meditation. Focus on your breathing.
Connect outward – Giving a warm real hug. Sharing with others.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing more revelations from friends (and in this case strangers) about who I am as a person. I’ve realized I can do a much better job at speaking up and showing who I truly am as a person. I’ve learned that I’m not the only person that has these fears or feelings and have come to peace with feeling vulnerable, it just means you’re being real.

Informational Interviews with Foursquare Employees – The Problem Solvers

April 12, 2013 ~ Nicole Monahan ~ Leave a comment

Best piece of advice: Talk to as many people as you can and often.

It occurred to me that over the past year I’ve conducted 16 informational interviews with wonderfully talented people from Birchbox, Bit.ly, Warby Parker, Buzzfeed, Flavorpill, Eventbrite, Foursquare, and MKG. What also occurred to me was the fact that I haven’t been sharing the advice I received from so many great people. This really clicked for when I had an informational interview last week at the Foursquare headquarters. Besides fangirling over their fancy offices and meeting Dennis Crowley in person, when I sat down with Anna Frenkel, Head of Consumer Marketing at Foursquare I realized she was giving similar advice that Talisa Chang, Product Marketing, at Foursquare did months earlier…

Become a problem solver.

Here’s some highlights from both interviews:

Talisa:

In your cover letter you should list how you’re going to solve their problems. List details, be specific. Provide challenging examples.
Get into the company’s mind. What are you going to bring to the table? How can you improve their company?
Seek out competitors. Ask yourself, what would you do differently?
Have an active mind.
And finally my personal favorite quote from Miss Talisa. “Go where there’s momentum. Go where there’s energy.”

Anna:

Began at Foursquare in customer service and community management and started looking for pain points that they were facing and presented a solution for them.

On Prioritizing: Ask yourself, where can I make the biggest impact?

On figuring yourself out, start thinking about:

What is it about a company or job that really interests you? Do you love building Facebook Pages? Content on Twitter? Narrow it down and be specific.
What is it about these social media platforms that I wish I would have done? What problem was (Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, etc) trying to solve?

I’ve learned two important things from these interviews. Not only does Foursquare like problem solvers, but what these interviews made me realize was how so few companies look or ask for these things. It seems to become more about your resume, what you’ve done, and who you know and less about why this company in the first place or what problems still need to be solved.

Another thing I’ve realized was that I’m clueless in what is it about working in my industry that really interests me. In this economy and more specifically my industry of tech and startups, you’re expected to wear all hats. Even now I do a little bit of everything from event planning, to social media, to marketing and promoting, to community management. Honestly, I was completely thrown off by this question from Anna — How can anyone narrow it down, when you’re expected to do it all? Yet, I understand the importance behind the question. It really forces you to find what you love. And for me, I enjoy being a community manager. I love connecting and interacting with fans of a brand. I love story telling. I think that’s why I like conducting these informational interviews, it’s about learning from everyday people. I must say I’m also pretty obsessed with research, finding what works and what doesn’t with brands, identifying opportunities, and finding what new trends are out there. Above all though, I really would love to Instagram all day. 😉

“We cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” – Albert Einstein

2 Years in the City: A Recap of the Adventure, So Far

January 21, 2013 ~ Nicole Monahan ~ 1 Comment

Today marks my 2nd year in NY. It feels only like yesterday my cat shoved himself into my luggage bag.

Before I knew it I was face to face with snow for the first time in my life.

“New York forces you to grow up fast,” a friend said to me this weekend. He couldn’t have been more right. Every single day you’re given a new challenge that makes you think faster and learn quicker than you ever thought possible. Changes are made daily; you need to learn how to adapt.

I’ve learned quite a bit over the past 2 years. Here are a few secrets I’ll let you in on:

1.) It will never get any easier. Ever. There will always be snow, rent, tourists, homesick-ness, and everything comes at a cost because lets face it, it still annoys me that you have to pay for the beaches here.

2.) Ignore the haters. Inevitably someone will cut you in line (and never apologize), no one will ever give up their seat for you, and you may face a time when someone will throw you under the bus. Hear me out. The truth is there’s far too much competition here. Everything needs to be fresh and fast, simply because there are too many talented people here. Everyone wants to be seen. My advice, ignore the haters. Master getting people’s attention without excuses, without sacrificing someone at the cost of your benefit. They may think they’ve accomplished something, but in the end they are still the same — mediocre at best.

3.) Stop questioning the city. At some point you will eventually learn to accept it for who it is – Like a pain in the ass family member, who in the end you love regardless of all their faults. Because the reality is this place changes you. I would never have had the opportunity to do 2% of the things I’ve done here back at home. Looking back I’ve been a part of some amazing companies, made some good friends, and with all the things I’ve been able to experience I feel truly blessed and lucky.

There is really nothing like taking that leap into the unknown and knowing you will probably fail. The key is to fail harder again and again. Because those who have it easy, those that are so naturally successful aren’t nearly as interesting as those that fail, learn, get up, and tries it all over again…. (Look at Kim Kardashian, she’s got to be the most boring celebrity ever. As Grumpy Cat said it best, “I wish I had her talent of having no talent, and getting paid for it.)

This journey has been both exciting and terrifying. But there is nothing quite like that feeling of figuring it all out – The Uncomfortable Zone. I’m not sure what’s in store next but I do know that I’m excited about the adventure. And I do know I want to continue to write it all down, whatever it might be so I’ll never forgot.

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It wouldn’t be a true Nicole post without lots of photos so here is a #2yrRecap: